Loneliness. The patterns of human thought and behaviour are so predictable, it makes it hard to tolerate human interactions. Thus, my Sisyphean search for authenticity turned me into a misanthrope.
It’s hard to evade the apparent truthfulness and validity of structure. Even after the most sincere attempts to run away, you realise that in essence, the action of running away itself, assumes and establishes structure.
Like the capitalist, robbing the worker of his productivity, and providing only his essential life needs, the man claims ownership over the woman’s productive traditional roles, which he regards as inferior – preparing food and raising the children. “I put food on the table” diminishes the work done by the woman. Applying his last name permanently to the boys and his wife, and temporarily to the girls, marks the lasting ownership, implying that raising the children is no more than alienated labor.
can I bear the alienation that accompanies the struggle for a coherent self?
Women and men that fully embrace their socially constructed gender role, should have no problem getting married as early as possible, since the structure of marriage and family is suited perfectly for them and will always be that way by definition. The fascinating development in this ever-evolving mechanism, is individuals who don’t fit perfectly into their assigned gender role, which idealise marriage because they can’t do it, labeling themselves “damaged” in the process, and when finally they conform, calling their slightly adjusted versions “alternative” or “dysfunctional” families.
I want to create technology that will convey one moment in full. All these words and images everywhere maintain the illusions of knowledge and language. My fantasy is also somewhat effected of these illusions, but since it’s an abstract fantasy
Completing sentences is
What am I doing this for? I’m equally insignificant and infinitely important, both should make me stop writing and go to sleep. Maybe the fact that I’m writing to everyone and no one will read it rationalizes the act.
I have so much to say, I wanted to contradict it but I had enough of this writing style, as of this “meta” writing. I am going to sleep after all.
Before I fell asleep, I had the most clear and wonderful thought, which I can now only remember small fragments of. These experiences always remind me both of Asimov’s theory, and of someone smoking marijuana.